2025.6.22
not the best day, leek
on a positive note i think i saw a couple of eagles flying outside. i don't think they are hawks. i looked in my book and no hawk match but bald and gold is maybe.
i don't feel like i can get work done at all today, but i've been drawing in hopes something can spill out of me that is suitable to submit for the anthology. i have 1.5 months. we'll see.......
for sure nothing vn related is getting done today. sometimes its plain excruiciating to open the thing up. it might be burn out or just due to how my body fluctuates, sometimes im a person that can work on it and other times not (t,,t)
renpy got stuck when i closed it andi shrunk it and this was the last thing i saw.. Perfume says delicious the most..
so what can this me do? i'm accumulating a pile of paper drawings. some of them could be material in a second brief case :3
sprite work is really boring and i do it bit by bit. i may continue my work on that today since its easy. it is taxing on my wrist..but worth it. i just run through all 6 girls and refine them. i probably have to do two more 'runs' for them to be done.
it's a lot of work, i can list a lot of reasons to justify why im going thru so much pain. the first implementation had a lot of jankness cause of the gap of improvement from the last version of sprites to now..
now i am a lot better at all aspects of anime girl architecture, and for SPECIAL GIRLS to be exciting to work on i don't want to feel dissonance between the sprites and my current art since they are the bulk of the VN
..so i dont feel i have a choice. i know if i endure it will be worth it. i get really excited each wave of working on the sprites even though it feels grueling and endless..
i am just taking it one at a time, each run through i focus on mouth or eyes or something specific and then every time theres less to do or it gets more seamless..
the me in the future working on the second mirror of SPECIAL GIRLS will thank me for these refined sprite bases
2025.6.21
summer is here, blog scheme
i tried making the blog pink like my fc2 one (that i've locked myself out of by accident) to see if it makes me more motivated to post
i'm starting to come out of my depression somewhat, idid sprite work yesterday that made me feel a clear feeling. i recognize this sensation from the times i enjoy working.
it seems more spaced out now, or harder to capture it and turn it into a month of work. i came to a peaceful conclusion that the recent increase of gaps are because i've had to grow
.. growing with drawing & growing as a person. its easier to gauge when i've grown with drawing, because suddenly the last funk makes sense and ties itself into a ribbon like a LEVEL-UP
im trying to experiment with tf and vore imagery in my sketching, because i want to participate in this anthology i was invited to
but i'm a little scared what i draw is too unsexy.. i think making fetish content on purpose is hard cause i want it to be hot. im not usually finding my own art sexy. i guess theres something psychologyical to work out there!
its saturday today so, i think i'll do week long stretches of blogs and then 'wipe' entry at the end of week. each day i'll just keep posting, dividng the posting sessions with pink line..
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